Learning from the Teachers Video 1: Four students ask Zasep Rinpoche meditation questions — resting the mind in a natural way in Mahamudra; foundation practices; being your own Guru, and meditative “realizations.”
Four Questions the Buddha Would NOT Answer and Why: Is the Cosmos Finite in Space?; Is the Universe Finite in Time?; Is the Self Different From Body?; Does the Buddha Exist After Death?
Advice from the Teachers Video 10: Struggling with Visualizing Your Heart Bond Yidam. How to Choose One, How to Improve Clarity and Concentration.
BW Interview with Geshe Thubten Sherab: Skillfully Teaching Traditional Tibetan Buddhism for Western Students
Video Buddhist Advice 9: How Can Advanced Vajrayana Students Simplify and Manage Commitments and Practice? Answered by Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche
Thich Nhat Hanh’s Translation: The Sutra on the Eight Realizations of the Great Beings “Torches That Help Light My Path”
Movie: Walk With Me — Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village on the Big Screen: “Mindfulness is to always arrive in the here and now.”
Inspired by H.E. Garchen Rinpoche, Galgamani Art Project Aims Personalize the Tibetan Prayer Wheel: Interview with Micha Strauss
Prayer Wheels Growing in Popularity; Benefiting Sentient Beings and Practicing Right Livelihood: Interview with Shea Witsett of The Prayer Wheel Shop
Wheel of Dharma: Why Prayer Wheels May be the Ideal Buddhist Practice for Busy People; Benefits to Self and Sentient Beings: What the Teachers Say
This is the Great Happiness: Mangala Sutta, The Sutra on Happiness, the Tathagata’s Teaching
Wealth Deities: Generating Karma for Prosperity by Practicing Generosity
Purifying Negative Karma Advice Video: How to Purify Obstructions and Defilements with Vajrasattva Practice and Other Buddhist Meditations, Answered by Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche
How a Home Retreat Helps Busy People Manage Time and Save Money; How to Do It, and Why it is Necessary
Buddhist Teacher Advice Video 7: Keeping Motivated in Your Daily Practice, Answered by Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche
8 Rights: The Noble Eightfold Path — the Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching
BW Interview: Theodore Tsaousidis, a Teacher Who Focuses on Healing Practices in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Meditation and Shamanism
EVENT: Lamrim The Stages on the Path to Enlightenment Lecture Series on Thursdays at Gaden Choling Toronto
Scientific Buddhist: Why Incense is More Than Just a Pleasant Backdrop to Meditation; Research Reveal Brain Health Benefits
Teacher Advice Video 6: What Advice Would You Give to a Student New to Buddhism as Starting Practices? — — Answered by Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche
Female Enlightened Manifestations and Female Teachers and Lamas — Wisdom in Action; Reader Poll and Interview with Lama Shannon Young
EVENT: Geshe Thubten Sherab Weekend Teachings March 24-28, 2017 in Greater Toronto Area: Lama Tsongkhapa Meditation Practice and Lamrim
The Science of Mantras: Mantras Work With or Without Faith; Research Supports the Effectiveness of Sanskrit Mantra for Healing — and Even Environmental Transformation
Mama Buddha Tara: Compassionate Action; Stories of Tara the Rescuer
Happy Losar: How to Bring in the Auspiciousness of the Fire Bird and Celebrate the Traditions and Fun of Tibetan New Year of the Rooster. Tashi Delek!
BW Interview: Emma Slade Gave Up a Career in Finance to Become A Buddhist Nun After a Traumatic Incident; She Went On to Author Set Free and to Spearhead Fundraising for Special Needs Children in Bhutan
Happy Dakini Day! An Introduction to the Wisdom of the Female Enlightened Dakinis in Buddhism.
Illness and Cancer Advice: Video, Buddhist Teachers Answer  — — Advice for students with aggressive illnesses such as cancer, supportive practices Medicine Buddha and Black Manjushri (with full Medicine Buddha Sutra)
A Great Teacher Has Passed: The Learned and Inspiring Gelek Rimpoche of Jewel Heart International Passed Away
Karma is Not Fate: Why Karma is Empowering
Scientific Buddhist: Peer Reviewed Studies Demonstrate Buddhist Metta Loving Kindness Meditation Can Slow Aging, Increase Brain Matter, and Decrease PTSD and Schizophrenia —Ten Benefits of Compassion
Video: Students Ask the Buddhist Teacher: What advice would you give for a student who is dealing with the loss of a pet? Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche
“Get Away From Her!”: Like Ripley in the movie Aliens, Palden Lhamo, the Terrifying Enlightened Emanation of Tara, Drives Off Your Inner and Outer Demons and Obstacles
Using Mindfulness to Combat Memory Loss, Early Alzheimers or Dementia: Helpful Video Advice from Buddhist Teacher Venerable Zasep Tulku Rinpoche, with the full Satipatthana Sutra
Video: Celebrating 40 Years of Dharma Practice in Remote Tasmania! One of the oldest Dharma centers in the West Commemorates with Retreat, and a Party
Vajrayana Visualization can Generate Body Heat, Heal, and Manifest Deity Qualities Helping Overcome Ego
Video Advice from the Buddhist Teachers on Bereavement: Advice for Someone Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One.

Video Advice from the Buddhist Teachers on Bereavement: Advice for Someone Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One.

In the second of a new video series, Venerable Acharya Zasep Tulku Rinpoche answers a question from a student about loss of a loved one:

What advice would you give for a student who is dealing with the loss of a loved one?

Venerable Zasep Rinpoche is spiritual director of many temples, meditation centres and retreat centres in Australia, the United States and Canada. (Bio below)

Full ten minute video:

 

Transcript of Venerable Zasep Rinpoche’s Response

Yes, I do have advice for dealing with the loss of a loved one. We all, at some parts of our life, some stages of our life, we — all of us — have to deal with loss of a loved one.

I say that, the first time, when you lose a loved one, you go into shock. Then, at some point, you start grieving. First, when you go into shock, you need help. What you really need is help of friends, spiritual friends, and teachers or Sangha.

You could do meditation on loving kindness for the loved one who’s no longer with you. And, also, you could do some Sadhana practice, mantras — like Om Mani Padme Hum — mantra of Chenrezig, mantra of Amitabha Buddha — Om Amitabha Hrih — and do your daily practice and meditation. It will be very helpful.

When you first go into shock, you feel very lonely, as well, that’s why you need help. Then, at some point, when the shock is over, you start grieving. Grieving can come, and go, and come again, sometimes can go on for months and months, even years, several years — depends on the individual.

You feel your grief mentally and physically. You might need help or counselling. You need help from a Dharma teacher or spiritual friend. Then you need to meditate. Meditate on the suffering or loneliness, the suffering of loss of loved ones, and impermanence. It is important to “go back” to the Lamrim. Lamrim teachings are very powerful, very helpful, and profound psychology.

One needs to realize that we all lose loved ones, sooner or later, and we die ourselves. When we die, our friends feel the same way. They lost a friend. So this is impermanence. Once you understand impermanence, you feel a little better.

Sometimes when you lose a loved one, you feel not only grief, but anger. They’re upset and angry. They feel guilt. So that anger, grief and guilt is happening for some people. Not everybody, of course.

Some people feel angry. First they’re angry with themselves, because they feel guilty. They think, Oh I should have saved… maybe I could have saved… maybe I could have done this, could have done that. I didn’t do that. So now you’re disappointed with yourself, upset with yourself, and feel guilty.

Another part of grieving, you could feel angry. You feel angry with the person who is deceased, like mother or brother or uncle, or maybe wife, you feel — how could you die? How could you leave me here? You’re gone now. I’m alive and I’m suffering.

Thats very sad, because, actually from a Tibetan Buddhist point of view, one should not get angry, because that person who is deceased, he or she doesn’t have a choice. Unless that person committed suicide. And, even if they committed suicide, who wants to commit suicide? You must have so much suffering, unbearable suffering.

You have to let it go, and forgive. When a person dies, he or she has suffered a lot. They had no choice. They didn’t do it deliberately. They didn’t abandon you. Those people who feel angry, I think they’re very confused. That’s why they’re angry. Or sometimes, they’re a bit self-centred.

From my point of view it’s a bit self-centred if you are angry. Because, “I want you to be with me. Now, you’re not with me. I am abandoned.” It’s all about me and I.

Instead of feeling angry, you should feel sorry. “I lost you, you’re gone, I wish you have good rebirth. I pray for you, for the journey and rebirth, and if possible born in the Buddha Land, Pure Land.” We need to change our attitude. It’s hard for someone who is confused and angry. But we need to educate them.

For grieving, your question about how to deal with grieving — grieving is a long process. Again, as I said before, Lamrim practice, study Lamrim, meditate on impermanence, on death and dying, ongoing prayers, and meditations on loving kindness. You could dedicate the merit of your daily practice, daily meditation, dedicate for the deceased. Then, you feel better.

Other things you can do: you can make offerings to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Make beautiful offerings like butter lamp or candles, food, and water, and so forth. Make offerings. Daily, or weekly, every seven days (since the deceased passed away) for the next forty-nine days.

According to Mahayana Buddhist tradition, we make offerings every day, or, especially every seven days, until the forty-ninth day. Also, you can do the offering annually.

Also, you can do retreats, meditation retreat, mantra retreat. You could also go on a spiritual pilgrimage to Bodh Gaya, the place where Buddha was Enlightened.  You could go to Varanasi, the place where Buddha gave his first teaching. Do a pilgrimage trip, and dedicate for the deceased.

This is a long process. Simple answer for dealing with bereavement is to meditate on loving kindness. I think that is the best.

PREVIOUS BUDDHA WEEKLY ADVICE FROM THE TEACHERS VIDEOS:

Video 1: Advice for Students on Karma>>

Video 2: Advice for Students dealing with loss of a loved one>>

Video 3: Advice for Students coping with memory loss, Alzheimers or early dementia>>

Video 4: Advice for Students coping with the loss of a beloved pet>>

Video 5: Advice for Students coping with aggressive illnesses such as cancer, looking for supportive practices>>

Video 6: Advice for the New Student to Buddhism>>

Video 7: Advice for Keeping Motivated in Your Daily Practice>>

Video 8: Purifying Negative Karma>>

Video 9: Advice for Advanced Vajrayana Students on Managing Commitments>>

TEACHING SCHEDULE OF ZASEP TULKU RINPOCHE

Mongolia

Venerable Zasep Rinpoche just returned from a visit to Mongolia, where he was welcomed at the Ulaan Baatar School for the Disabled. He is spiritual director of Gaden Relief, who donated new kitchen equipment for the school. Rinpoche visits Mongolia for both teachings and relief efforts each year.
Venerable Zasep Rinpoche on a previous trip to Mongolia (2016). He is currently teaching in Mongolia 2017, then on to Zuru Ling, Vancouver BC (April 2017) and Gaden Choling Toronto (May 2017).

Zasep Rinpoche is currently in Mongolia on an extended round of teachings

Vancouver, Canada

Rinpoche will be teaching at Zuru Ling, Vancouver in April: “Zuru Ling is extremely pleased to announce that our precious teacher Acharya Zasep Tulku Rinpoche will be teaching in Vancouver in April 2017:

  • How to do personal retreat, setting up an altar and torma making. Wednesday April 26th, 2017 starting at 7 til 9 pm.
  • Green Tara Initiation – Friday 28th April starting at 7 til 9 pm.
  • Black Manjushri Initiation – Saturday 29th April 2 til 4 pm.
  • Teaching on healing and protection of the Black Manjushri practise – Sunday 30th April starting 10 am til 4 pm.
  • Information: Zuru Ling website>>

Teaching Schedule of Zasep Tulku Rinpoche for spring 2017 at Gaden Choling Toronto, Canada.

Toronto, Canada

Rinpoche will be at Gaden Choling in Toronto, Canada in May for two weeks.

  • Mahamudra teachings: Saturday, May 20th, 10am to 5pm
  • Lama Chopa Guru Yoga: Sunday May 21st, 10am to 5pm
  • Hayagriva Highest Yoga Tantra Initiation: Thursday, May 25th, 7pm to 9pm
  • Green Tara: Friday, May 26th, 7pm to 9pm
  • Black Manjushri Initiation: Saturday May 27th 2-5pm
  • Black Manjushri Practice and Commentary (requires initiation) Sunday May 28th, 10am-5pm
  • Information to be posted soon at Gaden Choling website>>

About Archarya Zasep Tulku Rinpoche

Rinpoche is popularly known for his approachable teaching style, strong humor and teachings based on a long lineage of great lamas. His own gurus included the most celebrated of Gelug teachers: His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, His Holiness Kyabje Ling Rinpoche, Venerable Geshe Thupten Wanggyel, His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche, Venerable Lati Rinpoche, Venerable Tara Tulku Rinpoche and Venerable Khalkha Jetsun Dampa Rinpoche.

Rinpoche is spiritual director of many temples, meditation centres and retreat centres in Australia, the United States and Canada. He was first invited to teach in Australia by Lama Thubten Yeshe in 1976.

More on Zasep Tulku Rinpoche>>


Gaden for the West Meditation Centres

Australia

  • Vajra Ling, Uralla, N.S.W.
  • Losang Gyalwa Mandala, Sydney, N.S.W.
  • Tenzing Ling Centre, Quamaa, N.S.W.
  • Dorje Ling Retreat Centre, Lorina Valley, Tasmania

Canada

United States

Leave a reply

Are you a Sentient Being? *

Copyright Buddha Weekly 2007-2017. All Rights Reserved. Please feel free to excerpt stories with full credit and a link to Budddha Weekly. Please do not use more than an excerpt. Subject to terms of use and privacy statement. All information on this site, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. The purpose of this website is to promote  understanding and knowledge. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, including medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.

Buddha Weekly does not recommend or endorse any information that may be mentioned on this website. Reliance on any information appearing on this website is solely at your own risk.